Kiss of Death

For the last year I have been a Hillary supporter. Ok, I haven't been a strong supporter but wanted her to win. It would be nice for all those young girls out there to see that the United States of America is really not afraid of strong women.

After reading Obama's speech the other day, I truly thought that this is the one person who truly understands the race issue and can speech so well to get it across to all people having the experiences that he has. I don't care what his minister said or says. I am a practicing Roman Catholic who doesn't believe many things that this Pope stands for. Am I going to give up on 43 years of those ideals that I do believe in, I think not!!

After having said that, I am not a bandwagon jumper, seeing I have only voted for a handful of people who have actually been elected. Being a parent of a minority child, I have experienced many things that my other family members have not or have experienced those ignorant comments made to my face without people even realizing what they are saying or who they are saying it to. Some of them have been my own family members. After I say something to them they always change it to not include Kiran of course, but the damage is done.

Then a friend had a speech on her blog with my Senator who was killed in a plane crash over 5 years ago. It was his speech on the Senate floor against invading Iraq. At the time, he was in a tough battle to hold on to his seat but would never compromise his on beliefs to get elected. Do I think he would have been re-elected? YES! Is he missed??? Absolutely!!!! We don't have a voice for the voiceless anymore.......

Listening to Paul Wellstone and then Obama, I started thinking who really wants to see change and who would continue the old ways. Maybe my support for Hillary was really for Bill. Anyway, my heart starting to feel the change and Obama started falling in the polls. What does that say about me???

Maybe it is time to ride the Mccain train. Maybe he will lose if I start supporting him........

Mary

Aging parents

Three weeks ago, we were informed that my dad has a serious heart condition. He has some very severe blockage and an irregular heart beat. They need to be able to go with open heart surgery to fix the blockage but because of his Lupus and other things they prefer not to. Of course, I have been sitting here thinking what it would be like to be parentless. It is so difficult watching those we love grow old. Then I have such a distrust of doctors in Northern MN that it makes me nervous that he isn't in the city looking for help. He likes his doctor and doesn't want to move but my mom died in that same hospital this doctor works for....

Do you ever wonder.........

I wonder what.....


life would be like without Kiran
it would be like to be the perfect parent
if Kiran's birthmother decided not to put her up for adoption or came looking for her
my life would be like without my SILs, brothers, nieces and nephews,
my mom would think of my parenting style
Kiran would think of my mom
my mom would think about Kiran
teaching in the suburbs would be like
our country would be like if Al Gore won almost 8 years ago
what our country will be like in 4 years
it would like to be deeply in love with a partner
it would be like to have another child
it would be like to have enough money not to have to worry about the future
why Britney Spears does what she does
or why any parent can just kill or forget about their children
or why people die so young
or why athletes, singers, and movie stars are more important then police officers, teachers
and firefighters
life would be like without my dad, I don't want to find out
it would be like if my mom was still with us on this earth.........

What do you wonder????

The New Year

It is so hard to believe that we are almost done with the first month of 2008. I am hoping and praying that this year brings positive changes to our country and government.

This is the year that my oldest niece will graduate from high school, she will be able to vote in her first presidential election, and in August she will be off to college to start her adult life. WOW!! Kiran is going to have difficult time with that move. Laura was with us for the first two weeks that Kiran was home from India. Laura is big sister, mentor, and great friend all rolled into one. I am just thankful that the college she wants to go to is only 20 miles away from us.

My kid just keeps coming up the lines that make me smile and laugh. We had a great discussion the other day about keeping our house clean and how great it would be for her to start helping me more around here. I was telling her that it is hard to keep our house clean after working all day, coming home making dinner and then spending some quality time with her. Instead of saying I will do what I can mommy, she looked at me in all seriousness and said, "It's not fault that you never got married." Referring to the fact that if I had gotten married, I would not have to do all the work be myself. Where do kids come up with these things.

Mary

Happy Holidays

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my blog friends. I have been a terrible blogger this year but I am still reading, even if I am not responding.

This season has been a difficult one for me. It is the first without my mom's mom. She was always such an important part of the holiday.

Love to all,

Mary and Kiran

Seven Years Ago.....

It seems just like yesterday. I was sitting in my masters class on a Sunday afternoon. It was totally out of the blue that my turtleneck felt like it was choking me, I couldn't catch my breath, and forget about sitting still. There was nothing unusual taking place in class but for some reason I thought I was going to die.

When I returned home, I called my SIL and told her about my first panic attack. I told her that I thought my child was born today. We talked for a while when she told me to write the day down in my calendar. Once I received a referral, if her birthday was on November 19 we know that she is mine. I then told her that could also go for November 20th seeing that India was 12 hours ahead of us.

Well, tomorrow, my darling girl turns seven.

How is that mother's intuition????

Life

I am tried of taking out the trash...
of getting my oil changed...
of cleaning our house and doing our laundry....
of being the mean parent all the time...
paying ALL the bills...
doing the all the grocery shopping...
helping with homework...(can you believe a teacher is saying this!!!)
running to dance class, religion, and friends parties...
going to bed everynight exhausted beyond exhaustion....
not having sex....
of feeling guilty that there isn't a dad....

BUT........

I LOVE MY GIRL AND WOULDN'T CHANGE IT FOR ANYTHING IN THE WORLD!!!